Saturday, July 23, 2016

Back to You

At this point in my life, I've come to realize that people leave us in all kinds of ways. Some die. Some choose to leave forever. Some go for a time and some stay, but they are not here.

I've been trying for a while now to capture the sorrow I feel for the loved ones I miss, and the responsibility I feel for the things I've done that made them go.

Though I have tried many times, I've not been able to find the words in standard prose. Though I don't consider myself a poet and likely neither will you. Sometimes the lilt of a sonnet, a song, or a rhyme is the only way I can accurately express what is seared into my heart.

This is dedicated to anyone who has ever lost someone. May they visit your dreams.

Back to you

Last night you visited my dreams.

So you real you felt, it did not seem you had ever gone away, leaving all these lonely days.

I heard you in the garden trees.
Your voice so clear I ran to see,
if in some way it could be true, my desperate wish had gifted you.
Your laughter like a bow on string through chill night air was ringing,
I caught my breath and paused to hear.
My heart commenced to singing.
A Ruby Robin at his perch watched me as I searched and searched.
I humbly pleaded he take flight to be my compass though the night.
Then happened on your tip toe prance.
You’ve always walked as if a dance.
Upon your face I caught a smile and wished to rush, but paused a while
to watch you catch a firefly and then release it to the sky,
while dancing 'round your flowered room, adorned by stars and lit by moon.
You were happy, so peaceful there.
I gulped as not to breathe your air.
I urged the earth to stop its spinning, to turn back time to our beginning.
So I could savor is some part, the time before I broke your heart.
Before I learned the consequence, of apathy and ignorance.

Arms reached out, a wished embrace.
My fingers almost touched your face.
“I love you. I miss you,” stretched long and seamless.
Yet could not fill the gap between us.
And finally, I let it be, the space dividing you and me.
Grateful just to have you there, my baby bird on midnight air.
I begged the night to linger long.
Wished one more smile, one more song.
Still, stars don’t ever last the night,and even dreams exhaust with fight.
Cresting sun burned morning sky.
My frail heart broke, then watched you fly.

Eyes wide open, salty tears.

You’ve still been gone for all these years.